Just Another Day at the Office
by yur.makin'.me.sober
Summary: Bored at the office, Reno stumbles upon Tumblr. Curious, Rude goes to investigate while Tseng places a bet. Humorous one shot.


_**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, but the writing and ideas are works of my own. Just a little drabble that I needed to get out of my head one day. Hope you enjoy!**_

**Just Another Day at the Office**

Rude arrived back at the office after lunch surprised that his co-worker and office mate was still sitting silently at his desk, obediently tapping away at the keys with an intent fury. The bald man let a small lip twitch slip past his stone expression as he went to sit down at his desk across from the redhead. Maybe the idiot was actually having one of his rare grown up spurts where he felt obligated to be responsible. Not wanting to jinx himself, the well groomed Turk decided not think on it anymore and just let the matter be. A task that was none too difficult until he heard a high pitched…

"In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!"

Eyebrows immediately raised in alarm and fear, Rude abruptly darted out from behind his computer screen, not sure what to expect when went to look upon the idiotic redhead.

"God damn stupid fucking…" Reno mumbled violently under his breath, physically pulling out the speakers from the computer to shut up the obnoxiously annoying music that was suddenly emitted from them. After the loud crash of said speakers hitting the nearby wall, the room once again grew silent.

Reno went back to typing.

More than curious, Rude actually went to get up and walk around to his partners desk, looking at the screen that was showered in bright blues and pinks, covered with sparkles and teenage girls in sailor outfits. The bald man wasn't sure if he should be scared and walk away, or just walk away and pretend this whole event never happened. Seeing as it was a slow day at work, the bulky Turk went to take a gamble.

"… what are you doing?"

With a look much like that of an overly happy puppy about to pee on the floor, Reno turned to his partner and went to explain what he had just found with an abundance of enthusiasm… well an abundance for the redhead anyway.

"Look bro, check dis out. Its dis interactive porn site called Tumblr. See. I got bored an' jus' hacked some random account an' look wut I found, yo."

Rude took a long hard look at the screen, which was plastered with pictures of young girls in apparent fetish ware, carrying various cute but very unpractical weapons, complete with thigh high boots and high heels. There was nothing to suggest that what the redhead was saying was wrong. Looking even closer, the bald man noticed something else as well.

"You're someone named Serena?"

Reno snorted in annoyance and waved off his good friend. "Yeah, yeah… it makes dese people feel more secure ta think I'm a fuckin' chick. Less threatenin' dat way, ya know. Besides… from wut I've gathered lookin' over dis shit… der all girls, man. I'd be fuckin' suicide ta let 'em know I was actually a flesh an blood guy. But dat dun matter, yo. Look…" the redhead pointed to a separate chat window he had open on the screen. "See da geeky blue haired one? I'm havin' sex wit 'er."

Rude raised a curious eyebrow, leaning in a little closer to actually read what was written on the screen. "Is that possi—" the older Turk asked, this partner answering him before he could finish the question.

"It is, yo. I admit it takes some practice ta get da right angle an' ta be able ta keep up da momentum, but its possible."

Rude would nod in acknowledgement. The redhead never ceased to amaze him.

"An' look here, bro. Dis ones gotta whip. Yeah, shes a fuckin' blonde, but its all text based so I can imagine her being a redhead or somethin'."

The usually silent man leaned in closer, this time cocking his head to the side as he went to read what was going on in that specific chat screen. "Is that move possible?"

His redheaded cohort smirked in response. "I dun know, haven't tried dat one out yet. I dun think its gunna be, but ya never know until ya try. I've already made plans wit my normal brothel ta put it ta da test tonight, yo," the asshole snorted arrogantly, nudging his buddy gently with his elbow.

The crisp suited Turk went to stand up straight, letting out a sigh as he corrected his jacket. "You do realize we have a company seminar this evening, right?"

Once again, the redheaded jerk waved his partner off, turning back to the screen to concentrate on his so called sex-ca-pades. "Whatever, yo. I dun need ta go ta dat shit."

"Actually," the taller man pointed out. "You do. Its on Sexual Harassment and with all the strikes you have on your company record in regards to said matter, your attendance is mandatory."

The stubborn bastard groaned. Rude was always one to be a party pooper. "You an yur bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo. My sex-perimentation is more important. Its fur da good a science after all."

Suddenly the blue haired nerd would post back to "Serena" and the response would be enough to catch the stoic mans attention. Eyes growing wide, the man actually lowered his glasses to get a better look at the screen.

"… oh my…"

Reno laughed devilishly in delight. "Oo-hh yeah," going to immediately respond back.

"What was that screen name again?" Rude asked as he rather hastily went to return to his desk, sitting down with a reverent passion.

"Fuck you baldie," the redhead growled out protectively. "Get yur own internet honeys ta defile, dese ones 're mine, yo."

Too distracted by the interactive soft core porn, neither man would go to notice the tall, slender Wutaian who had just so happened to take up residence in their door way for the past several minutes.

"You two do realize that these computers are on an open company network that is constantly monitored by the IT department?" the cold and official Turk leader would ask.

Rude's response was silence, which was normal, but Reno lack of words was not, not that the idiot looked worried.

Tseng would continue.

"Their system is presently going hay wire with all the flagged words you are persistently using."

It was here that the smug redhead actually looked proud of himself, leaning back in his chair in an overly confident manor. "Yeah?" the asshole would smirk like the demon that he was. "Wut's da odds, yo?"

There would a slight pause, but eventually Tseng gave in and indulged the bastard. "Three to one, against."

"An' da bookie?" the redhead would inquire.

"Fredrick. Let him know outcome of your little 'sex-pariment' in the morning so he knows how to pay out."

The arrogant son of a bitch would chuckle to himself as his boss went to continue his way down the hallway, only managing to take a few steps before popping his head back into the office.

"And Reno…" Tseng called out, his voice as calm and serious as ever. "That maneuver better be possible. That's an order. I have a hundred dollars riding on this bet and if I lose, its coming out of your pay check."

With that, Tseng went to carry on his merry way.


End file.
